Life Came At Me Fast

June 27, 2006

Update: Great news and somber news all at the same time. The great news is that I do not have cancer throughout my body (except for the tumor in my head). The tumor is contained to this location only, and does not seem to have spread to or from any of my organs.

The somber news: I met two of the three surgeons who will perform my operation. The amount of tissue which must be removed will not allow me to have a prosthetic eye. It seems instead a graft of tissue will be borrowed from my right thigh, to include skin, muscle, nerves and arteries. This graft will fill the cavity left by my surgery. I will have a relatively normal looking face when all is said and done, but my left eye will be a smooth patch of skin. I will likely wear an eye patch (AARRGGHH!)

More somber news: The surgery and subsequent pain will come and go. The radiation therapy after the surgery, however, is traumatic and permanent. I will in addition to the loss of my left eye, suffer loss of my sense of smell and much of my sense of taste. I will also lose much of my hearing (left ear only). Dr. K says things will sound muffled, but not completely deaf. I will also have no eyelashes or eyelids anymore (again, left side only), because the radiation kills the follicles. I might even lose patches of hair on my head, depending on the angle of the radiation when administered.

The verdict: I am not going to try to convince anyone this does not suck. So far, I am down an eye, an ear and my sense of taste and smell. This said I have to remember things could be much, much worse. If I were to count some of my blessings, they would include the following:

I am alive.

My wife and son are okay (except J broke her toe two days ago)

I have good health insurance

I have short-term and long-term disability at work (and FMLA)

I have the Mayo Clinic available to me.

My cancer has not spread beyond my lone tumor, and is operable.

My support group is awesome. I simply can not imagine doing this alone.

Eye patches are sexy. Ask anyone.

That is it for now. It has been a bittersweet day for J and me. There likely will not be much to report until surgery on 7/7/2006. My folks are flying in soon, so I am looking forward to that. Until next time, vaya con Dios.

# posted by No Rain In Arizona @ 4:39 PM